Enlightenment

Starting over again. The train has derailed again and now we get to pick up the mess. The disappointing feeling of, how could I believe this wouldn’t happen again? This time was different. I knew I had stepped off the ledge. Something inside snapped. The shock of the truth hitting me square in face again. The thoughts of how, why, when, what and what now…. Now something is different. There is a deep peace under the anger, sadness, and disappointment. That seems very foreign for me to say, but I have no choice but to roll with it. First I have to pray for insight. So I analyze the situation. I write the truth of the situation. The lies I have believed about the situation. Where the lies originated. How the truth sets a different outcome of the situation. It is so true there is always a different way to handle life situations that push you to your limit, and also the small decisions always have an alternative course. It is interesting to look at different endings to the same scenarios. I guess this train wreck in life right now that mirrors others like it can have a different outcome.

I guess this turning point can be called many things, enlightenment, an epiphany, profound clear understanding. Defiantly will change the trajectory of the way its going now. Do I have the courage to look within and see the places that need to be examined and shown a different point of view? Some hours I do have the courage and sometimes I dont. So I just roll with it and do the best that I can. I hope that if your in a place of life that you are in a season of change and transition, that you have the courage and strength to look at all sides of the way you are handling the situation and your reactions of it. You to can change the trajectory of your life and that of the people around you. Be easy with yourself and be loving to yourself. Lots of self care.